A little more humor... -Reply

Stephanie Wilson (swilson@CHEMONICS.COM)
Thu, 31 Oct 1996 10:15:39 -0500

This one was WAY too good to pass up...

>>> <WILSONK1_at_REA@westatpo.westat.com> 10/31/96 08:51am >>>
Here's a humorous message I received. I got a few laughs out
of it. Hope you enjoy it too.


A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The
monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to
get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's
advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a
drink. He then proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his
office after mass, he found the following note on his door:
>>1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
>>2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>>3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>>4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
>>5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
>>6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
>>7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
Junior, and Spook.
>>8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
>>9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't
say "He was stoned off his ass."
>>10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
>>11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said,"Take this
and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."
>>12. The Virgin Mary is not reffered to as the, "Mary with the
>>13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub,
thanks for the grub, yeah God"
>>14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.
Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.