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Re: Insurance Bloopers
John Pastore (bwplacar@CANCUN.RCE.COM.MX)
Fri, 19 Jul 1996 18:05:22 +0000
> In a message dated 96-07-19 11:49:03 EDT,
> Mike_Huey@notes.cc.bellcore.com (Mike Huey) writes:
>
> >The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where
> >car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in
> >the fewest words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve
> >to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly
> >entertaining.
> >
> >Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree
> >I don't have.
> >
> >The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
> >intentions.
> >
> >I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put
> >my head through it.
> >
> >I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
> >
> >A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
> >
> >The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times
> >before I hit him.
> >
> >I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
> >mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
> >
> >In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
> >
> >I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As
> >I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision
> >and I did not see the other car.
> >
> >I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my
> >universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
> >
> >I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and
> >had an accident.
> >
> >My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
> >
> >The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over
> >him.
> >
> >A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
> >
> >As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a
> >place where no stop sign ever appeared before. I was unable to
> >stop in time to avoid the accident.
> >
> >I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of
> >the road when I struck him.
> >
> >I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the
> >roof of my car.
> >
> >I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat,
> >found that I had a fractured skull.
> >
> >The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car
> >with a big mouth.
> >
> >I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in
> >a ditch by some stray cows.
> >
> >The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out
> >of its way, when it struck the front end.
> >
> >To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I struck the
> >pedestrian.
> >
> >An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
John Pastore
'Venture-Out'
Hotel Plaza Caribe
Cancun, Quintana Roo, Mx
bwplacar@cancun.rce.com.mx
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