Re: Way to eliminate nutcases from newsfeed

Ed Conrad (
5 Dec 1996 03:27:18 GMT

Just leafed through the boring Pied Piper follow-ups to ``Nutcases"
and all I can say is -- ``Yawn!" -- what a GREAT place to take a nap.

The inferiority complex you've given me causes concern that a picture
of me and my petrified brain will appear on ``America's Least Wanted"
some Saturday night.

I really can't believe how much you want to get rid of me -- more
importantly, how much you're afraid of the truth -- but I certainly
wouldn't condone monkeying with the intricacies of your computer
in an effort to do so.

Hell, one of you may be electrocuted or -- God forbid -- will be blown
to bits, all for the sake of desiring to perpetuate pseudo-science and
prevent the Truth from Marching In.

Out of a sense of compasion, I've given the matter deep thought and
beleive I've come up with a simpler and more sensible solution to the
problem of getting rid of me.

Simply take up a collection from all of the howlers -- $100 each in
frayed $10 and $20 bills -- and drop off the brown paper refrigerator
carton in the alley behind Catizone's Barber Shop in Shenandoah at
3:25 a.m. next Wednesday, Dec. 11.

That's when I'll climb out of the neighbor's garbage can and supervise
the counting of the cash. I figure, based on the number of hostile
postings over these past nine month, it should contain a minimum of

If it does, we'll slide the crate sideways into my mini-van and I'll
take off down the alley. You can breathe easier in the knowledge
that I'll be gone from your screen forever.

The only thing I can't guarantee is that you'll be forced to sit down
and read each and every one of my sacrastic postings in your worst
nightmare, causing you to wake up screaming and in a cold sweat.