Re: Homosexuality: male & female

Yousuf Khan (ykhan@achilles.net)
Sat, 14 Sep 1996 18:07:12 GMT

On 12 Sep 1996 14:23:34 GMT, Susan <rgq101@uriacc.uri.edu> wrote:

>ykhan@achilles.net (Yousuf Khan) wrote:
>>Now I don't mean this to turn into some debate about right and wrong, all
>>I'm asking for below are numbers.

>Gee, on this newsgroup-- you think that could happen...?

:-)

Probably as much probability of that happening as the total proportion of
homosexuals in society. What maybe 10%? Less than 4%? :-)

>>Is it just my imagination or do male homosexuals tend to outnumber female
>>homosexuals? Or is it just that males are more open and vocal about it?

>I don't know anything more concrete about the numbers, so I snipped that
>part. I too have heard the 10% figure, but don't know much about the
>reality of it (I suspect the same is true of those who generate
>the numebrs).

Who knows? The numbers are probably estimates based on the author's own
personal experiences. If the author lives in a part of the world where
homosexuality is more visible, then he could come up with higher numbers.

>While there is a strong belief in
>U.S. culture that homosexuality is both intrinsic (perhaps bilogically)
>and permanent, there is some cross-cultural evidence that it is not so
>fixed as we might think. Gilbert Herdt is probably the most well-known
>author to discuss this, in his case for New Guinea. In U.S.
>culture, some support for this is provided by people who both behave
>and self-identify as bisexual. This might be taken to suggest that there
>is a range of behavior classifiable as homosexual, which a given person
>may or may not be engaging in at a given time.

Stop right there. There is a difference between a bisexual and a
homosexual. You are coming very close to stating that a homosexual can be
converted to heterosexuality, because there are all of these bisexuals out
there who can switch back and forth so easily. This does a disservice to
homosexual feelings, because it somehow marginalizes it into something less
than heterosexual feelings. "Heterosexual attraction is true attraction,
but homosexual attraction is just a passing phase therefore it is not
true", is what I'm sensing here. If someone is truly homosexual, then they
cannot feel any attraction for the opposite sex -- period. If they can feel
any attraction to the opposite sex, then they are bisexuals.

It also does a disservice to bisexual feelings, because it lumps bisexuals
in with homosexuals completely ignoring all of their heterosexual
activities. "Bisexuals and homosexuals are all the same thing", is what I'm

sensing here. You can't take cases of bisexuals and say because bisexuals
can be attracted to the opposite sex, that homosexuals are capable of the
same feelings. Why not just say, "Bisexuals and heterosexuals, they are all
the same thing"; and then say because bisexuals can be attracted to the
same sex, that heterosexuals therefore can be attracted to the same sex as
well. Doesn't work does it?

>Which in turn means it
>would be hard to "count" homosexuals, except in the sense of who's
>behaving in a homosexual manner at the given moment.

What is so hard about it? You are attracted to the same sex but never to
the opposite sex, then you are homosexual. You are attracted to the
opposite sex but never to the same sex, then you are heterosexual. If you
have been attracted to either sex at some time in your life, then you are
bisexual. Forget about lumping bisexuals and homosexuals together -- they
are not the same thing.

>Some people have
>suggested a more extreme view, that everyone has "homosexual potential",
>but that it is culture which defines whether and how it is acted upon.
>This, as you can imagine, is controversial, but it is an interesting
>idea.

You are reading too much into it, it doesn't mean that everyone is
homosexual. A potential (any potential at all) could range anywhere from 0%
(i.e. no chance) to 100% (i.e. already doing it). Everyone has a
heterosexual potential as well, but that doesn't mean everyone can be
heterosexual as well.

It all comes down to one very basic low-level fact: what are you sexually
attracted to, men or women? If you say both equally, then you are bisexual.
If you say a just little bit of one, but mostly a lot of the other, then
you are still bisexual; nobody ever said that you have to enjoy both in
equal proportions.

I think if a lot of people get upset by this notion because many, many
people would then fit into this bisexual category. I am of the opinion that
maybe upto 40% of the world's population is bisexual. Just my opinion, mind
you, just through my own observations in my own neck of the woods.

Anyways, so far my heterosexual potential is 100% and my homosexual
potential is 0%, simply because I've never been attracted by any example of
my own sex. My best friend on the other hand, is 100% on his homosexual
potential, but 0% on his heterosexual potential. Who knows in the future
these potentials might change in either of our cases, but I doubt it, as
there's been no indication of any possible change in either of our cases.

>I also have a theory that, at least in U.S. culture (and I suspect in
>some others), there may be more latitude in the female role, or that
>males are more threatened by the possibility of homosexuality. This
>means that it might be harder to "recognize" female homosexuals than
>males, assuming they are not telling you themselves what their sexual
>preference is. Or, if the latter case, that at least some subgroups of
>males homosexuals are more visible in the population because we are more
>attuned to any variation in the stereotypical male role, because it is so
>easy to threaten it (and it therefore tightly controlled).

But that's just outward behaviour. Granted, butchy females and queeny males
are easy to recognize outwardly, but they are not the typical homosexual.
There are many people who give absolutely no outward indication of
homosexuality, but they are. These aren't the special cases, these are the
majority cases. Homosexuals are walking amongst us now, and we won't be
able to tell; they aren't even trying to act deceptive by hiding their true
nature, because this is their true nature: completely normal in every
aspect of life except one.

Yousuf Khan

--
Yousuf J. Khan
ykhan@achilles.net
Ottawa, Ont, Canada
Nation's capital