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Re: LUCY: ``Yes, we have no bananas!"
tkoetje@grove.iup.edu
Sat, 16 Nov 1996 15:02:17 GMT
In article <56fas9$6ta@news.ptd.net>, edconrad@prolog.net (Ed Conrad) writes:
>Michael Clark <mclark@skypoint.com> wrote:
>
>>On Mon, 11 Nov 1996, Ed Conrad wrote:
>
>>> To my mind, the ONLY physical anthropologist who possessed scientific
>>> integrity in a search for honest answers to legitimate questions about
>>> man's origin and ancestry was the late Dr. Earnest A. Hooton, longtime
>>> professor of anthropology at Harvard University.
>>>
>>(T)ed? Do you know any LIVING anthropologists?
>
>Quite frankly, no!
>Oh, I do know of some who are still walking and talking because
>I see them on TV every once in a while, usually after an ``incredible
>discovery" like the time they claimed to have found Little Lucy's
>fossilized babushka.
>
>But, unfortunately, as anyone who follows their rather mechanical
>straight-from-the-book irrational establishment-protecting commentary
>is well aware, they're actually brain dead zombies.
>
>To be honest, I found their unusual condition so intriguing that some
>time ago I sought an explanation from Clayton Lennon because of
>his expertise in explaining the cause of abnormalities such as this.
>
>Well, let me tell you, Michael, what he told me was was rather
>shocking, to say the least.
>
>Apparently, the zombie-like condition is the result of a disconnection
>between the brain and another (unmentionable)( part of the body.
>
>It just so happens that the anthropologists' years of abnormal
>absorption of nonsensical incorrect data has disrupted the Fornix
>Optic Thalmus -- located in the interior of the brain -- and has
>adversely affected the rather complex Human Services system.
>
>In turn, it has triggered the spontaneous growth of miniscule
>purplish-shaped hourglass-like embers on the north and southeast
>walls of the large intestine.
>
>Consequently, nauseous gases usually emitted from the rectum,
>accompanied by ``popping" noises but oftimes even louder -- are
>required to take a detour to you know where but have no alternative
>and have to find a different route.
>
>Amazing as the human body is -- God bless God for creating evolution!
>-- they found a way.
>
>Most amazingly, these gases shift to reverse, re-enter the stomach,
>bean-stalk up the spinal cord, enter the Limbic Lobe, make a almost
>perfect U-turn -- sort of like a Cho Cho coming 'round the mountain --
>and enter the Fornix Optiic Thalmus.
>
>It's then that they relocate the entrance to spinal cord, zip down the
>bean-stalk, make a bee-line to the oxyntic glands of the stomach and
>race like helll to the outer limits of the large intestine where they
>finally find the Exit.
>
>I know it sounds incredible, Michael. But, as we both know, truth
>indeed IS stranger than fiction.
>
Guys that write for small town newspapers on the other hand, are well known for
their generally wonderful ability to portray complex issues simply, and awesome
overall intelligence.
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