david horne (dhorne@DIRECT.CA)
Sat, 20 Jul 1996 15:22:39 -0700

At 06:29 PM 7/19/96 +0000, you wrote:
>On 19 Jul 96 at 14:15, Julian O'Dea wrote:
>... However one could equally
>> argue that the lack of interest by these men in their children is a
>> cultural overlay (resulting from the Government acting as a
>> surrogate "father") which displaces the "natural" parenting
>> behaviour. If one were a strict sociobiologist (which I'm not) one
>> could argue that these men are behaving in a tactically clever way.
>> If one can impregnate women and not have to put resources in, maybe
>> moving onto further women, this is a "smart" strategy in a
>> biological sense.
>Instead of "government," howbout the constant spamming by
>oftentimes promiscuous women about so-called "dead-beat" fathers so
>as to be surrogate fathers with the so-called "dead-beat" fathers
>separte but added incomes?
>While "moving onto other woman" may be the "smart strategy in the
>'biological' sense," when will it become the "smart strategy" in the
>"financial" sense. That is: when the "dead-beat" father can take at
>least his wallet with him?
>John Pastore
>Hotel Plaza Caribe
>Cancun, Quintana Roo, Mx
Let's rename Anthro-L Sexist-L. Flame follows:

Congratulations John. In this post you set new lows for bitter sexism and
general fantasizing. Where to begin? Well, how about here? Fathers, do "take
their wallets with them". Income statistics reveal that in the vast majority
of cases a woman's income drops when her relationship ends. In contrast, in
the vast majority of cases the man's income increases when his relationship
ends. Single mothers make up a disportionately high percentage of poor
people, and their children often suffer for it.These statistics overleap all
boundaries of class, race, and economic position.

You can leave the quotation marks off dead-beat when you talk about many
absent fathers.Again statistics tell us that high percentages of child
support payments are either never made or are not made in full. Governments
everywhere are waking up to these facts [facts John, real facts] and putting
in place programs to collect the cash. I would like to think that
governments have had a great moral awakening but I don't really believe that
this is the case. It is much more likely that they have simply come to the
realization that if fathers fail in their responsibilities the state will
have to stand in with increasingly scarce resources to stand in with.

Ah, promiscuous. What a lovely pejorative word, at least when applied to
women. When applied to men, it has other connotations. But no matter. It has
little relevance in issues of parental responsibility. And that's what we're
talking about here, parental responsibility. Fathers are responsible for the
children they help to bring into the world. They are responsible whether the
children sleep in the next room or half a world away. They are responsible
whether mom is Sister Teresa or Lucrecia Borgia. Whether mom is celibate or
screws the entire offensive line of the Green Bay Packers on her lunch hour.
That responsibility is one that does not end until each and every child
reaches adulthood. Capice, paisan????

Seems pretty simple to me. So how come so many guys don't seem to get it?
Well, it gets back to the old issue of power. Males are used to having power
over women. They don't like it when this power is threatened. They don't
like being told to leave a relationship. They don't like to be told that
"their woman" is leaving them. They don't like being told that they have
responsibilities that they can't escape by changing addresses. These are
bewildering and frightening things for a lot of men. And when they are
frightened they fight back. But its a fight that they're not going to win.

Capice paisan?

David H. not told of my death,
And that no one grieve on account of me,
And that no flowers be planted on my grave,
And that no man know my name.