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erratum on usage of 'pagan'
Daniel A. Foss (U17043@UICVM.BITNET)
Fri, 23 Feb 1996 17:07:29 CST
who traces her ancestry back to the Bronze Age and gives her occupation as
"dealer in Bronze Age artifacts, unstolen, which costs you extra." She says,
"We aint never been pagans, there warn't no damn pagans till the Christians
started calling us names. Pagan's a Constructed Category. Means 'hick' as in
'hillbilly.' You know, Beverly." She claims "We never were no damn Christians."
When challenged, she replied, "We's allus been Episcopalians. That aint
Christians. Christians is (1) folks what sell cars; (2) folks what fix cars;
and (3) folks what steal cars." What's more, she's so convinced of the truth
of this, she withdrew from college when "the Jew girl" marked it Wrong on a
sociology test.
Ms Hubbard then claimed to be married to one Big Daddy, proprietor of a
sawmill and "the biggest opium poppy plantation in the state" but "everybody
knows you can't run no *oikos* without no damn slaves." She has two "wonderful
masochistic Southern daughters," Elektra, "after the Buick," a practitioner of
Earthwoman Abduction Therapy, and Elizabeth ("after the Queen") N, "Doctress
Neutopia." While pregnant with the latter, she prayed "to the usual gods and
goddesses" for a boy, to be named Orestes, in accordance with a script left
behind by drunken houseguest Tennessee Williams. According to which, when
she and her then lover, "N'Orlins" mafioso Aisthos "The Greeek," who manages
a geisha house, The Rising Sun, for "The Japs," murdered Big Daddy because
because the latter, on a business trip to Turkey, committed Child Sexual
Abuse on her favorite, mysteriously dead, child Iphigenia, Orestes was
supposed to slit her down the middle with a Confederate cavalry saber, "the
ultimate thrill," she said.
In conclusion, she wrote, "How's that for a mytheme?"
Daniel A. Foss
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