just one civilization which is pretty good considering

Daniel A. Foss (U17043@UICVM.BITNET)
Sun, 18 Feb 1996 17:17:57 CST

/* Next to the attempted assassination of President Clinton by setting */
/* him up for *wugu*, which has not yet come out, the kinkiest, in the */
/* sense of culturally senseless beyond belief, event of the Clinton */
/* Administration, the last to have been constitutionally elected under*/
/* the Republic, was the dismissal of Jocelyn Elders, MD. Too many bad */
/* things converged on this frail woman, too serious for her own good, */
/* for her not to get blamed for it, somehow. If she'd been white and */
/* less decent, she could have been Janet Reno; but that's not our */
/* problem. *Wugu* will be explained to Sen Alphonse D'Amato by Barbara*/
/* Ruth Campbell, PhD at the proper time, in the capacity of an expert */
/* Chinese holistic medicine, of course. The *wu* part alludes to */
/* sorcery or witchcraft; the *gu* part to the species of insect boiled*/
/* for extraction of the substance imbibed by the witch to slowly build*/
/* up resistance, until the level of toxicity reached by mixture with */
/* vaginal secretions causes, at low doses, intense rmomantic love so */
/* tiresome that within a week the witch will have the victim served */
/* with a court order to stay away; or at higher doses, death. For a */
/* thousand years, Chinese men accused women of *wugu* for lower back */
/* pain or the blahs. The emperor Wu of Han had his empress beheaded in*/
/* 90 BC for *wugu*, and indeed he died in 87 BC. Should the victim set*/
/* up for *wugu* escape unscathed because it didn't work, there's the */
/* possibility of "character assassination" mentioned in Vince Foster's*/
/* suicide note. */
DISCLAIMER: NEXUS-CHICAGO, an entrepreneurial community of hustling workaholics
fantasizing or hallucinating itself as spiritually-enlightened hedonists, is
much to busy to have had anything to do with this.
[The Sweetheart Sequence:]
What never had time to happen:
Q: Dr Judy, I feel funny about asking a doctor about using sex organs correctly
as opposed to just getting sick. Am I perverted?
Dr Judy: I asked Dr Ruth the same question last week, and I'll tell you
whatever she says.
What cannot be verified:
A crumpled pack of Potomac Slims Menthol.
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
----------------------------------------------------
Cigarette smoking causes the kind of masturbation which leads to blindness,
insanity, even death! If you want to do yourself the *nice* way, first *quit
smoking*, sweetheart, and come see me for a private, confidential training
course. - Jocelyn

Another crumpled pack, generic imitation of Potomac Slims Menthol.
SURGEON GENERAL'S URGENT APPEAL:
Sweetheart, hurry up, please! Them are coming to get me! - Jocelyn

Dear Adrienne Dearmas:

It's all arranged. All you need do to clinch the deal is send e-mail to
either Brian Peterson <sparcs@nexchi.com> or Dave Hurst <hurst@nexchi.com>
saying:

Yes! I'd love to appear in the role of Sweetheart in the Paranoid Interra-
cial Lesbian sequence of the yet-untitled Porno-Video version of Ulf Hammerz,
Cultural Complexity, 1992 (with a sketchy plot about animal rights and vege-
tarianism in the Purus River Valley, Peru, and the love of Jesus, recent PhD
in Philosophy, U of Ayacucho, mighty hunter, and reluctant Messiah against
El Exigente the *narcotrafico* and El Samurai Presidente, for a New Wave
anthro grad student hallucinating she's a Giant Tree Sloth). I understand
I will be shown as puffs of tobacco smoke emerging from a Closet, as a dead
ringer for Jocelyn Elders, MD, from the back, waits impatiently. I understand
that nothing will be overtly displayed or implied showing me as white, African-
American, or Paranoid, separately or in combination, or sexually active in any
way, or celibate.

ALSO, I wish to go on record to the effect that America Online's Internet
access [[deleted]s][other heartfelt expression of negativity]. Please switch
my service to NEXUS-CHICAGO immediately. In fact, you can just do that, and
forget all about the video stuff, which I've deleted above. I'd like to comment
that your Marketing person is quite clever, so how come she's got to run a
movie projector at the Village North Theater to make ends meet.

[your real name]
[your .sig file]

Thanks, I think you're really cool.
- Barbara Hall, IQ 168, Marketing Assistant
<rain@nexchi.com>

Daniel A. Foss
<back from vacation for election year--*broaden the critique*!>