Re: if Bigfoot were real what would it be?

Timothy Perper (
Fri, 20 Sep 1996 08:57:51 -0500

In article <51p5fd$>, (Bryant) wrote:

> In article <51l48l$>,
> Lorenzo Love <> wrote:
> >There are hundreds of reported sighting, footprint casts, photos and even
> >movies.
> Yup, and not one shred of physical evidence.
> >Are all, some or none of these for real? I don't know. If every sighting
> >is a fake, then there are hundreds of people involved in the faking.
> This surprises you? Are you aware of how many people claim to have been
> sexually abused by ET? :)
> Truth be told, I don't think the forestry industry has left enough room
> for such a creature to make do in. ;)
> >Lorenzo L. Love
> Bryant

Well, now, let's think. Here's Bigfoot, 14 feet of proteinaceous yummy
mass. Obviously, such a mass of yummy protein attracts predators --
Bigbears (which are carnivorous), Bigwolves, Biggereagles. But it has
cells, too, Bigfoot does -- big cells. These clearly have Bigviruses.
Bigfoot's teeth have Bigplaque and Bigcavities. How did it get to the New
World? By tromping across the as yet not fully dry Bering Straits mud
bridge -- ooze,slurp,ooze, slurp for many miles. After a while, when the
smallfoot people came over by land, they sooner or later noticed Bigfoot
and stampeded them like walruses over cliffs into the Pacific and into
canyons. That's why we haven't found Bigfoots (not Bigfeet -- that's a
different species): they're buried under all the other debris.

In brief, Bigfoot is a snapshot taken by the modern world of a life and
place that Once Existed. Bigfoot is a symbol of Wilderness still at
large, still at bay, still undefeated. Such sadness and such yearning...

Tim Perper

Timothy Perper