Re: how many bastards are there, anyway?

Derek Tearne (derek@nezsdc.fujitsu.co.nz)
4 Sep 1996 17:25:33 +1200

In article <50gbm5$3n8@jaxnet.southeast.net>,
Matt Beckwith <beckwith@jaxnet.com> wrote:
>allin1@schools.minedu.govt.nz (Steve Caskey) wrote:

>No one deserves to have his feelings hurt.

What, even if they are asking for it? Usually
>
>There were three posts correcting my use of the word "cuckold". The
>first one I read but misunderstood. The second, I finally understood.
>So I thanked them both.

What about the third?

Now you assume that the 'um... did you read my post' was intended as
a slur.

Consider for a moment that someone has spent probably half an hour
crafting a polite and informative answer to your post including the
derivation. They then discover later in the same thread that you
thank people for their polite response and ask if anyone knows the
etymology.

Remember that this person has spent a lot of time trying to help
you and yet you post this later in the same sub-tree.

Have you considered that this person has had their feelings hurt.
At best you have software so crummy that their efforts were wasted.
At worst you are deliberately insulting them by ignoring their post, or
implying that the derivation they supplied in a post you followed up
to, was incorrect.

I would say they have as much right and likelyhood of hurt feelings as
you.

In the circumstances 'Um... did you read my post?' is a reasonable and
polite response, giving you the opportunity to either say 'it didn't
turn up here' or 'thanks I've found it now'.

What did you want them to do, post the while lot again?

Would that be reasonable?

Remember in all this that just about everyone else reading the thread
is quite likely to have seen the response with the derivation and wouldn't
bother duplicating the post.

>You (and some others in this group) seem to think it's okay to hurt
>people's feelings, [...] I was raised a bit differently. I
>don't think hurtfulness is okay in any circumstance.

Nevertheless, I think you very likely offended the helpful person who
spent some valuable time posting the answer to your question politely
and succinctly. All they got in return is slammed by you.

I sincerely hope they don't get put off from contributing to the group in
the future.

>There is an insult implied in this practice (common on Usenet) of
>starting a post with "Um..."

Imagine someone makes a realy embarrasing statement or asks a stupid
question, such as 'where is my umbrella' while holding it, or 'all
[insert ethnic group] people are ...' while standing next to one.

Most people will shrug their shoulders and sheepishly - in an attempt
not to give too much offense - point out the placement of umbrella
etc.

Would you take offense at this?

If not why take offense on Usenet?

-- 

Derek Tearne. -- Ruapehu Eruption Information at http://url.co.nz/ruapehu.html

Some of the more environmentally aware dinosaurs were worried about the

consequences of an eruption at Ruapehu "If it goes off no one will be skiing

there this year" - they said.