Re: 7 gr. sci. (Monkey)

Richard Bennett (
Sun, 14 May 1995 06:19:09 GMT (loopy) wrote:

>Good morning,

Good evening.

>We are a group of students doing a reasearch project . We would
>like to know where monkeys live, how many there are left in the
>world, how tall they grow and what do they eat. Thank you.

Thank you for asking this question. We have so little discussion
about monkeys these days, a sign, I believe, of the decline of our
civilization. That, and Barry Bonds' salary. Anyway, to get to your
point, well, in fact, there are only 13 monkeys left, and they all
live in zoos. When they are fully grown, they are half the size of
middle school science teachers, but twice as smart. They subsist
(look that word up in the dictionary, if you have one) entirely on a
diet of Granola and bananas.

The reason there are so few monkeys is that the Hong Kongese ate the
rest of them, by slicing open their skulls and sucking their brains up
a straw. Really. Just like in "Temple of Doom" with Dr. I. Jones.

To learn more about monkeys, read about the Bonobos in Scientific
American (around March), or a book called "Curious George Eats the
Internet." Educational, and lots of FUN.

>** David H. Bedell
>** Science teacher
>** San Lorenzo Middle School
>** King City, CA 93930

Am I supposed to write you a letter, or what?

RB ("I know kids, we'll ask the COMPUTER!!!!")