Re: DARWIN'S DIARY FOUND (the truth finally emerges)

Paul C. Dickie (
Fri, 20 Dec 96 04:44:15 GMT

In article <59binf$> "Ed Conrad" writes:

>Guess you're aware that clam picker in Fiji recently found a coconut
>that had been washed ashore and was surprised to see a cork blocking a
>hole. He broke it open and discovered a note written by Charles
>Darwin while The Beagle was homeward bound.

Are you *sure* that it was a cocoanut and not another "human calvarium"?

No, Eddy, "cocoanut" wasn't a typo. That's how Darwin would have spelt it.

>> Additional Paragraph for Inclusion in Chapter XV:
>> ``Origin of Species," if I can find anyone to publish it

That book was written *decades* after the voyage of HMS Beagle.

> Still, I think it could last a hundred years until some SOB
>seriously challenges it and eventually stuffs it down our throat.

Darwin was a lifelong Unitarian and of Unitarian parentage; no matter
how sorely he was provoked, he would not have sought to suggest that
a person was a direct and immediate descendent of a dog...

> Even I know there's such a big hole in my theory -- in fact, SO
>big that you can drive a tractor-trailer through (but that won't

You've just driven a combine harvester through your nonsense, Eddy. Farm
tractors weren't used in the UK until quite some time after Darwin died.
Not even the agricultural steam engine was in use until the lattermost part
of the C19th.

> The truth is -- God forbid that someone should find this coconut
Wrong spelling; spelled like that, it belongs in the C20th.

> See, I had to make it LOOK like my trip on The Beagle was legit.
Again, wrong. Darwin would have referred to the ship as "HMS Beagle".

>But the REAL reason I came along was to `frolic' with all those South
>Seas' lovelies

He went at the especial request of Capt. Fitzroy, RN.

>during all our stopovers to and from my `Island of Natural Selection'."
Another C20th word.

Take my advice, Eddy.

Don't ever try to write pastiches of C19th fiction, for you're simply inept.

< Paul >