Re: Yumpin' Yiminy! Conrad and Holden are taking over!

Ed Conrad (
13 Dec 1996 14:07:31 GMT

>Ben Waggoner (
>Department of Evil, Devilish Scientists
>Attempting To Wipe Out
>Ed's Radical Paleontology (EDSATWERP)
>University of California
>Berkeley, CA 94720 USA

>:> Ed Conrad wrote:

>: > You've seen a photo of this great scientist holding one of my key
>: > specimens. He had examined it very patiently and very carefully, then
>: > admitted -- in astonishment -- that it is a human calvarium (a cranium
>: > with the eye sockets broken off).

>: Can you be positive he wasn't trying to play a joke on you? I know some
>: scientists that politely brush off ridiculous finds by saying kind words
>: to the owner and also telling him to get further opinions. It's partly
>: out of the sadistic side of some scientists that they send these people
>: to others, sort of a share the joke scenario.

>Several months ago, the University of California Museum of Paleontology
>started receiving many phone calls and visits from someone who claimed to
>have found a fossilized bird egg which, when he washed it, hatched into a
>snake with a big puff of smoke. This, he said, disproved evolution
>entirely, and proved that life on Earth was under the direction of alien
>intelligence, which was speaking through him. . . and he kept saying
>things on the phone like "I don't want to get angry or hurt anyone, but
>this extraterrestrial intelligence may force me to do things. . . "

>He brought the fossil in to be examined, and it was obvious to all that
>this wasn't an egg, or any kind of fossil at all. But under the
>circumstances, the persons who had to deal with this guy were not about to
>tell him "You don't have a fossil, go home and take your thorazine!" The
>person who had to deal with him the most on the phone kept agreeing to
>everything he said -- not to be cruel, but simply because antagonizing
>this person would have done no good at all, and those veiled threats
>sounded ominous.

>There's no way to know what Krogman actually said, why he said it, or what
>he was thinking at the time. Since he's dead, we can't ask him. But he may
>well have been appearing to agree with Ed simply to avoid antagonizing
>him. Or maybe he did think it was funny. . .


Ho! Ho! Ho!

Not just funny but rather hilarious, Ben, was the time your University
of California/Berkeley sent a notarized letter informing me that the
package of four specimens that I, in good faith, had sent its Museum
of Paleontology for testing NEVER arrived.

Was that a fried or scrambled egg on its face when an inspection of
records inside the Berkeley Post Office, by postal officials, resulted
in the discovery of evidence -- a signed receipt -- that the package
indeed had been delivered and signed for by a member of its staff?.

Ho! Ho! Ho!