Peter (
Sun, 18 Aug 1996 20:43:38 GMT

The past month or so was a very difficult time in my life. I was so
depressed I had to take a leave of absence from my job and went to see
my closest friends in Japan. (They are westerners, but live in Tokyo.)
I discussed many philosophical issues with them, mostly related to my
depression. This was an opportunity for me to discover myself, to
re-think and re-evaluate.
My friends got me an antidepressant drug, Maprotiline Hydrochloride
(also known as Ludiomil).
It was great that my friends also have an internet account, so I
searched for information. I found some details on this Maprotiline --
a side effect is increased REM. Sure enough -- about the first or
second day on this medication I had a dream about my mother and how I
called her a child abuser. (Frankly, I am not so sure my life was such
an ordeal. Yes, the fact is that I ran away from home and was happy to
have a life of my own.) Although I felt some kind of resentment
towards my parents, I still felt that I love them. I felt it would be
foolish to hate them. They meant very well, although they didn't
realize they were hurting me.
I posted a message on a number of usenet groups (incl. death penalty,
depression, psychology, co-dependency) in which I discussed my dream
experience and explained my love towards my parents. I concluded that
hate is not the answer. In that usenet message I asked the question
"why is there so much pain in this world" and answered it myself --
people who hurt others had been hurt in their past by someone else.
As a result, I received numerous responses from people who were
abused, brutally beaten, yet they were able to understand that the
only way to free themselves of the scars was to break the circle of
pain. It felt like a miracle.
It is amazing how many people in this world don't know this.
I thought, and I still believe, that this is one of the fundamental
issues of humanity.
I realized that death penalty is as wrong as the crimes themselves. I
felt compelled to share my view with others. I was trully pleased that
I wasn't the only one who thought this way. It made me feel whole lot
One of the respondents to my usenet message proposed that this simple,
yet fundamental philosophy should be thought in schools. It could only
help to make this world a better place.

Petr Mares

"Eye for an eye would leave everyone blind."