Re: Yumpin' Yiminy! Conrad and Holden are taking over!

Sho Nakagama (
12 Dec 1996 09:53:07 GMT

In article <58bvbm$>, Ed Conrad wrote:
>First of all, I don't THINK I have human fossils. I KNOW I have
>human fossils.
>Are you or the others out there MORE knowledgeable in the
>identification of human skeletal remans (petrified or otherwise) than
>the late, great Wilton M. Krogman.
>HE -- not any of you -- wrote THE book, ``The Human Skeleton in
>Forensic Medicine."
>You've seen a photo of this great scientist holding one of my key
>specimens. He had examined it very patiently and very carefully, then
>admitted -- in astonishment -- that it is a human calvarium (a cranium
>with the eye sockets broken off).

A verification from someone who is *alive* and reputable would
be nice...

>Secondly, it's wrong to state that no one is listening or paying
>attention to this exchange of nasty dialogue. You'd be very, very
>surprised to learn how many people ARE listening -- and in exotic
>far-away places.

It sure does carry, I'll grant you that, I'm usually trying
to help nuts on other newsgroups.

>True, the vast majority of folks DON'T agree with me. But this is
>quite understandable because I have tossed my hat in the lions' den
>(and they're damn hungry).

Glad to see you're following the rules Ed, I quote you rule number
one from the USENET Guide to Power Posting

The USENET Guide to Power Posting

1. Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason
can't *possibly* be that you're a fuckhead. There's obviously
a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire
net a favor by exposing it. Be sure to mention the CIA, FBI
Oliver North and the Army as co-conspiritors.

Here's another you seem to follow quite well...

3. Force them to document their claims: Even if Jane Jones
states outright that she has menstrual cramps, you should demand
documentation. If Newsweek hasn't written an article on Jane's
cramps, then Jane's obviously lying.

And this one goes without saying....

5. Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to
convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them?
State that you're a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of America.
Tell them the scores you received on every exam since high school.
"I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell
the word 'premeiotic' ".

And you seem to follow the most of the other rules....

6. Be an armchair psychologist: You're a smart person. You've heard of
Freud. You took a psychology course in college. Clearly, you're
qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent. "Polly Purebread, by
using the word 'zucchini' in her posting, shows she has a bad case
of penis envy."

7. Accuse your opponent of censorship. It is your right as an American
citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the net (as guaranteed
by the 37th Amendment, I think). Anyone who tries to limit your
cross-posting or move a flame war to email is either a Communist, a
fascist, or both.

10. When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other rules, remember
this one. At some point during your wonderful career on USENET
you will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is
better than you. This person will expose your lies, tear apart your
arguments, make you look generally like a bozo. At this point,
there's only one thing to do: insult the dirtbag!!! "Oh yeah?
Well, you do strange things with vegetables."

14. Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies
sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly."
"Clearly, Fred Flooney is a liar, and a dirtball to boot."* loves your the way you religiously follow this one...

15. Cross-post your article: Everyone on the net is just waiting for
the next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal. From
rec.arts.wobegon to alt.gourmand, they're all holding their breaths
until your next flame. Therefore, post everywhere.

And in response you used this rule...

19. A really cheap shot is to call you opponent a "facist". By itself, it
really does nothing. But, when used often, and in enough articles,
it can make you a net-legend.

And Ed, you're the king of this one as certainly everyone knows your
name now....

20. And finally, never edit your newsgroup line when following up (unless
you're expanding it). This drives 'em wild. Be sure to follow up as
many articles as possible, even if you have nothing to say. The
important thing is to get "exposure" so that you can be called a
"regular" in your pet newsgroup. Never change the ">" symbol when
following up; that's for wimps. Dump a hundred lines of "INEWS FODDER"
in every article.

Well, we certainly can't fault Ed for following most of the
rules, can we?

>True, most howlers have a scientific educational background. But this
>doesn't mean a damn thing if what they were taught (about man's origin
>and ancestry) was dinosaur manure, which indeed it is.

Hey, so they rejected my theory that the dinosaurs were carried
away by spacecraft from a planet ruled by apes, even after I
showed them a picture of General Urko. I was crushed, but
I learned to deal with it.

>Many more photos and much more information continually have been

Does that mean I should show them a picture of Dr Zeus as well?

"Next time I'll be more cautious, next time I won't be fooled
It's another of those basic things you're never taught in school
Let this be a warning, as you wander through the world
It makes no difference who you are, be you boy or be you girl
Be very, very careful when people seem so nice
It's not now when it's expensive, later on you pay the price
There's no Hope Road" -Anne Clark
Well I may not live past 31 but-whoa! What a way to die!
GBH(tm) [your secret society ad here] KoX ARSCC