ConradBot v1.0 (NOW IN GOOD WORKING ORDER)

Ed Conrad (edconrad@prolog.net)
10 Dec 1996 09:19:51 GMT

>Subject: ConradBot v1.0
>Date: Fri, 06 Dec 1996 14:53:16 -0500
>From: pres@botsrus.com (SuperUser)
>Organization: Bots R Us
>Newsgroups: talk.origins, sci.bio.paleontology, sci.skeptic

> =====

>We here at Bots R Us pride ourselves in providing the Usenet
>community with quality bots to stimulate exciting discussion.
>It has come to our attention that one of our bots has been
>released before it was ready.

>The program in question is ConradBot (most likely a pre-release
>version of v1.0). It is most probably identifying itself as
>one "Ed Conrad". It started life as a bad unix port of the old
>Eliza program with all sorts of paranoid, anti-establishment,
>conspiracy-minded rants. When we were getting ready to release
>it, we found that certain subroutines which should have been
>included with our PeeWeeBot were linked into the ConradBot. This
>caused the program to loop, multiply-crossposting "I know you are
>but what am I?"-type childish rants. We weren't planning to release
>the program until this was fixed, but a copy made it out our door
>with a disgruntled former employee who may have released it onto
>Usenet.

>So, please, if anybody in talk.origins, sci.bio.paleontology,
>or sci.skeptic should see a posting by an "Ed Conrad", ignore it.
>It's merely the mindless rants of a broken program. Ignore them
>and the bot will stop posting after a few days.

>I'm very sorry if this bot has caused any problems.

>Sincerely,

>Curtis M. Greenwald
>President
>Bots-R-Us

> ~~~~~~~~~~
>Since the ConradBot has been engaging in small-scale
>(to 3 to 4 newsgroups) repostings of the same articles,
>this article is being reposted to other groups spammed
>by the ConradBot in an effort to fully identify the problem
>and its most efficient solution.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

clickkkkkk dlllickkkk clllliiiickkkk clickc clikckcic ckcil cklkl
123455667678999900012234456789012334455678990
xxxx#####33333@@@@22========0007&&&&^6
enter data / enter data / enter data / enter data

ENTRY MISUNDERSTOOD
ENTRY MISUNDERSTOOD
ENTRY MISUNDERSTOOD...
...

wH0987654321. CoNRADbOT v1.0, 12-8-1996 LSTD4-44-13241
///////////
A-OK. A-OK. A-OK
ENTER DATA. HOOKUP COMPLETE...

0987654321 abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
!@#$%^&*()_+|
all keys functional

esdfeProblem Recitified.
repeat PROBLEM RECTIFIED...
Back to Bots-R-Us portal (Controller 34-44-237)

> SHOULD I TEST RUN FOR CONFIRMATION?
>>>> Yes. But make damn sure all screws tightened!!

Roger!

OaESE....

Begin New Feed////correction-mode
Bots-R-Us -- PRIORITY

> ConradBot v1.0 ConradBot v1.0 ConradBot v1.0
> XX9m-1212-EC (12-14-917, 12-8-96 .........................................................................................................................................

DANGLEWIRE LOOSE. TIGHTENED. SODERED. WORKING FINE NOW. COMPUTER BRAIN
CONNECTION AIRBRUSHED. GOOD WORKING ORDER. NONSENSE DISK DISCONNECTED.
REPLACED SARCASTIC RESPONSE MODE. SUB WITH GOOD MANORS & COURTESY
DISK.
>ConradBot v.1.0 APPARENTLY A-OK.

Roger!

RESUME OPERATION WITH CAUTION.

TEST RUN
TEST RUN
TEST RUN

...hI

hi...

hI

Hi:
My name is Ed ConradDDD.

> RESTART 0987654321 0987654321 (EC-1-913-231-674)

hI

hI.

Hi. My name is Ed Conrad. I really am ConradBot v1.0. I believe in
evolution. We all came from monkeys. We used to swing on trees.
Columbus was Italian. There are no vested interests. Science is not
corrupt. Andrew MacRae is a nice guy. David Pilbeam is not a horse's
ass. Paul Myers is right. Ted Holden is wrong. I have discovered
concretions. Anthropologists are honest. The sky is blue. Velikovsky
is wrong. Carl Sagan is not an egomaniac. Science has all the answers.
Henry Barwood's brain only looks like a siderite nodule. Politicians
are honest. Fat ladies have the best voices....

> SURE LOOKS GOOD TO ME, MR. GREENWALD.
> SHOULD I STILL BRING HIM BACK TO THE FACTORY?