Ed Conrad (
1 Dec 1996 12:19:27 GMT (Nick Longrich) wrote to and :

> Ed, you've become TRULY stupid. . . . (snip)
> What the hell is with you? How the hell did you ever become so ignorant
> and close-minded? This is a new low of stubborn, willful stupidity.


Granted, it didn't come easy!
See, first I had to spend four long years in the School of Hard
Knocks which opens a person's eyes to the incredible scope
of dishonesty that currently exists in certain segments of science.

There, you develop an understanding of how easily truth can shoved
into a closet when subjected to pecking by Birds of a Feather Who
Flock Together.

Then I spent six years studying at the University of Uncommon Sense
where, as you can imagine, the highest marks went to the students who
had arrived brainwashed and therefore possessed the least bit of
common sense.

To give you some idea of our course of study, every six weeks we were
given a basic truth and, rather coyly, had to transform it into a
fabrication. In other words, we had to make it look like an outright

If you think it's easy, you're mistaken. I remember one time I had to
take a three-pound bag of truth and stuff it into a two-pound bag of
fabrication. This is why we were required to spent a full week each
fall carefully watching the packers a local sardine factory.

No mistake about it, Nick, it's no picnic developing a knack for
concealing evidence whenever it rears its ugly head. But I learned
rather quickly that it's not so hard if you train yourself to REFUSE
to follow Thomas A. Edison's advice:

> ``The right to search for truth implies also
> a duty; one must not conceal any part
> of what one has recognized to be true."

Later, when it was determined that I had reached the necessary plateau
of chicanery, I spent seven long years doing post-graduate work under
the watchful eye of some of the nation's most prestigious
anthropologists and paleontologists -- and, boy, did these guys know
their stuff!.

One of the best tricks they taught me was, when confronted by
individuals equipped with undeniable evidence, to simply snap your
fingers and utter the magic word: Concretion!

They say it serves as an excellent escape hatch each and every time.