Re: What Would Sex With A Apith Been Like...?
Steve Price (firstname.lastname@example.org)
19 Aug 1995 13:07:10 -0700
Hehehe, this was so lucid, I had to xpost this to a.n.k.
What do you think, guys? Does BARD get to be King Kook of s.p.a.?
Or is he just a mendicant?
In article <bardDDDI2A.1K6@netcom.com>, BARD wrote:
> In article <email@example.com>,
> Harry Erwin <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
> >In article <email@example.com>, firstname.lastname@example.org
> >(AccessGuru) wrote:
> >> Bard Wrote:
> >> >My daddy's a priest and my mommy's a nun.
> >> Did the Priesthood come before or after the stint in the State Legislature
> >> in Albany?
> >> Accessguru@AOL.com
> >If 'Bard' refers to educational institution, I may ask my son if he has
> >any interesting gossip, and then post the better parts...
> >Harry Erwin
> Several months ago I attempted to discuss the demise of the Apith
> and no one participated to any degree. My idea was that it
> was just too pat to say the Apith could not compete, and that I
> somehow felt a more interesting explanation was wanting. It may
> have been that everyone was intimidated by Phil Nicholls who roundly
> denounced my efforts. Nicholls, straight-line thinker that he is,
> wanted no part of notions that did not have the stamp of academia
> and fossil evidence. Still, I remain convinced that imagination
> plays an important role in discovery.
> At some point in the near future we may well exhaust the fossil record.
> And, although it may be argued that increases in technology will tell
> us more about the material we already have, I cannot help
> wondering if we are missing an even more effective method of learning
> about the ascent of hominids.
> This is, namely, the great "what-if," a term I would now like to dub
> No, please do not chuckle... Hear me out...
> I say, what if the Apith had survived? What role would he play in our
> world today?
> How can this teach us anything more about them, you ask?
> Think about it...
> If rather than spending all our time trying to figure out how he
> _lived_, we try to figure out how he'd fit in our world _today_,
> our learning would grow in a way it could not before.
> Consider this example:
> .............."Schools for Apiths".............
> : Core Curriculum
> : Housing
> : Meals/Nutritional Requirements
> : Placement
> What would be the limit of the Apith's learning ability? In Circuses
> bears drive go-carts. Could we teach a Apith to drive, say, a New York
> City Taxi (indeed, _are_ Apiths already driving NYC taxies?)
> What would be the most suitable method of domiciling a young adult
> Apith? Military dormatory setting with bunk beds? Cages? Mobile homes?
> (No jokes here, please).
> What would we feed Apiths? Bananas? Dogfood? Surf & Turf? (For the
> aquatic ones, of course.)
> What would be the best way to integrate Apiths into society? State
> Employment Offices? City Police Forces? Mcdonald's counter clerks?
> So... now that Phil Nicholls has been unceremoniously dismissed from
> his work study position at SUNY-Albany, perhaps we can explore such
> fun questions without fear or guilt.
> Remember, there is more to the mighty Apith than merely the legacy of
> the bones. Yes, friends, these extraordinary creatures were far more
> than just missing links. They were in fact, our first true mommies
> and daddies....